Japan has ended

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Friend of a friend posted this photo on Facebook. I think it’s supposed to say “本日は終了しました” (we are closed for the day) but instead they wrote ”日本は終了しました” (Japan has ended). How silly of the person who punches in train signs!

Ken Shimura’s Thriller parody (updated)

Need a crash course in Japanese humor? Just study some old Ken Shimura videos. It’s important to know this guy if you want to understand what makes the stereotypically stoic Japanese burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Shimura started off as part of a five-man comedy team called the Drifters; later, two Drifters branched off to become Kato-chan and Ken-chan, an iconic comedy duo from the 80s.

Ken Shimura was always the pack leader. Deceptively good looking but outrageously silly and politically incorrect, he mass marketed shimoneta (below-the-belt jokes) and inappropriate slapping with his unique blend of traditional and contemporary Japanese and Western influences. He also spearheaded some of the most famous Japanese TV memes ever, like "Daijobu da" and "Henna ojisan."

Above, an amazing short skit that shows all facets of this genius comedian: it features a handsome womanizer who turns into a creepy old man who performs a delightful, Japanified version of Michael Jackson’s Thriller. The skit ends with Shimura’s signature “henna ojisan” dance.

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Hilarious video of children fighting a zombie in their house

In this amazing video, a TV crew plays a prank on three children who believe they must fight off a zombie who’s coming into their home. It’s hilarious on so many levels. I love that Japanese people are not afraid to play pranks on little kids that empower them to be stronger and more imaginative. Also, it’s funny that the zombie writes them a letter to tell them he’s coming over, and then takes off his shoes before entering the house. Very polite. My favorite part is when the older boy starts crying and then tells the reporter off for not doing anything to help them. The weapons they use are great too: Tabasco, plastic wrap, a toy dinosaur…

(Thanks, Joe!)

Ken Shimura and Pankun the chimpanzee parody The Ring

This wonderfully heart-warming, slightly scary, and hilarious video features comedian Ken Shimura and a celebrity chimpanzee named Pan-kun. In it, Pan-kun acts as Sadako, the ghost from the movie The Ring. In between takes, Shimura and Pan-kun sit in overalls in a director’s chair and bond. Super cute.

via Boing Boing

Related stories:
Ken Shimura’s Thriller parody, and tips on upping your Japanese joke cred

Monkeys and dogs doing sit-ups

Harry Potter fangirl’s hilarious interviews with Ron and Harry

A popular variety TV show called Sanma no Karakuri TV had a contest where 10,000 Japanese Harry Potter fans competed for a chance to fly to the UK, visit the set of the HP movies, and interview Ron and Harry. The winner was a high school girl named Kana Matsuda. Here’s a hilarious clip of her interviewing Rupert Grint, who plays Ron Weasley. Watch it! It has subtitles. I’m personally a bigger fan of Ron than Harry, but if you want to watch the video of her interviewing Daniel Radcliffe, it’s here.

I just watched Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince at the theater on Friday, btw. It was fun!

via Japan Probe

Japanese comedy skit from the 80s parodies Michael Jackson’s Thriller

I’ve posted this before, but here it is again because it is, in my humble opinion, one of the best tributes to Michael Jackson originating in Japan. Around 1:58, Ken Shimura, who has just confessed to his girlfriend that he becomes a henna ojisan (a weird middle-aged man) when there’s a full moon, jumps out of the bushes and starts dancing to the chorus of Thriller played on a Japanese flute. This clip is from the late 80s, I think, or possibly the early 90s.

Rest in peace, MJ.

Japan’s pornographic fetishes in The Onion

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The Onion comedically sums up Japan’s unique fetishes in this fake quote in an article about “porn that makes people puke”:

“We honestly had no idea people did not enjoy this stuff,” said Cultural Affairs Minister Kazuhiro Nakai, expressing regret for the thousands of hours of bondage porn, rape porn, utensil-rape porn, food-rape porn, frozen-food-rape porn, vomit-enema porn, elder-care-coma-patient-rape porn, and the kind of a porn in which a nubile youth is kidnapped, stripped, tied down in a wading pool and raped. “We are deeply ashamed for whatever it is about these films that has made people around the world vomit so vigorously. Please know that the content was only intended to entertain and arouse.”

Japan Pledges to Halt Production of Weirdo Porn that Makes People Puke (The Onion)

Little giant robots and talking toothbrushes at WWD

Once a month, my friend and superstar journalist Charlie Jane Anders hosts a spoken word variety show called Writers With Drinks at a bar called The Makeout Room in the Mission district of San Francisco. She invited me to read last weekend, so I did. I read excerpts from my profile of the Dalai Lama’s brother, and I also read the Wired.com article about the Tokyo pick-up school for geeks. I might post my audio clips here later, but for now, I wanted to share the lovely introduction that Charlie Jane wrote before she brought me on stage. Enjoy!

Video: Taxi Driver Is A Stunt Man Prankster

A guy gets on a cab. Cab driver asks him if he should take the quicker route. Man says, yes please. You’ll see what happens next in this crazy prank video.

Some captions:
Every so often, the panicked passenger says: "Who the hell are you?"
Cabbie responds: "I’m just a taxi driver."

The passenger also says things like: "Look straight ahead!" "There’s construction!" "Go back!" "My door!" "A giant sign!" "Fire!"

The cabbie doesn’t say much, but at the very end, he makes sure he asks for the fare: "660 yen."

Video: Naked Man Prank at a Ski Resort

It’s been a while since I first saw this video, but it’s funny every time. A wooden hut sits atop a snow-covered mountain during ski season. It has a couple massage chairs in it for skiiers whose muscles need a little break. But things take an unexpected turn 10 seconds after they sit down in them….

I know I’ve lived in America too long because I watch this and the word "lawsuit" pops into my head every time the chair does its thing.

Miss Universe Uses Her Sash as ID at an Airport

Check out this clip of Riyo Mori on a reality TV show. The girl might be hot enough to have won Miss Universe, but she’s also dumb enough to show up at an airport without valid ID. Wait, scratch that. She didn’t have a passport, drivers license, or other form of government-issued ID, but she DID have her Miss Universe sash. Homeboy at the US Airways counter actually let her through, probably because he was pressured by half a dozen hot girls and a camera crew.

While Riyo won the global pageant, back home she wasn’t everyone’s favorite. She’s not really "cute" in the way Japanese people want girls to be cute, I guess. Want to decide for yourself which woman should have been Miss Universe Japan? Check out this next video (after the jump) from the selection ceremony.

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Agriculture Ministers Busted for Discussing Gundam on Wikipedia

Picture_5Ever wonder what your government bureaucrats do on their down time? An internal investigation at the agriculture ministry recently revealed that six of their staffers had been spending hours and hours editing Wikipedia entries about Gundam on their work computers. Apparently they know a lot more about mobile suits than farming, cuz they edited at total of 260 entries related to the popular anime series.

As a consequence, Wikipedia was banned from all ministry computers. When interviewed by CNN, a ministry official had this to say about the situation:

"The Agriculture Ministry is not in charge of Gundam."

Sorry guys!